Advice for Better Sex

People of all ages and both genders, whether you identify as gay or straight or queer, seek advice for better sex, whether you live in West Linn, Oregon or Eugene, Salem, or anyplace else.

Keep in mind that the information in this article is for educational purposes only. If you are concerned about any issues related to your sex life, or the functioning of your sexual organs, please talk to a Relationship Specialist, your MD, or your healthcare provider.

This article looks at some of the issues faced by a variety of adolescents, people in the prime of life, and seniors, both men and women, gay, straight, and queer. In both adolescent and college-aged men and women, about 85% of those surveyed reported being satisfied in their current relationship. The factors that most seem to influence their feeling of satisfaction included having a positive relationship overall, being less emotionally sensitive, having more frequent sex, having had sex with fewer partners, and having sex protected by condoms.(1)

Steven M Cohn, PhD, LMFT
Virtual Marriage and Couples Counseling
Serving Clients Throughout Oregon
503-282-8496

Conversely, those who had negative relationships and who were more likely to seek advice for better sex tended to display more emotional sensitivity, had less frequent sex or sex with many partners and/or unprotected sex.

Continuing With Advice For Better Sex

The theme of relationship satisfaction having an effect on sexual satisfaction is a theme that appears to continue throughout all of the various stages of a person's life. Regardless of where you live, be it West Linn, Bend, Lake Oswego, Portland, or anywhere in the world, research has consistently shown a strong positive association between relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. One of the most important variable that influences both relationship and sexual satisfaction is the quality of communication between the partners in a relationship. However, this is not the only factor, as those couples with the best communication skills did not necessarily have the highest level of sexual satisfaction.(2)

One of the key issues that may lead to women seeking out advice for more and better sex is attachment anxiety, or the degree to which a woman feels that the relationship is secure and will last. A high degree of attachment anxiety often results in dissatisfaction with both the overall relationship and the sexual aspect of the relationship.(3)

Another important issue that can lead to women seeking out advice for better sex is the effect of contraceptive pills. Depending on the specific formula of the pill which is taken, some women may experience vaginal dryness and/or loss of desire.(4) If you are experiencing some of these symptoms, you may want to talk to your doctor or healthcare provider about switching to another type of contraceptive or at least another brand of birth control pills. For men, one of the important key reasons for seeking out advice for better sex is premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is a common problem and has a big impact on how satisfied many men are in general with their sexual relationships.(5) The problem of premature ejaculation is treatable, so you should not allow it to continue without seeking help from a Relationship Specialist, your MD, or your healthcare provider.

As men and women move from their earlier years into mid life and beyond, their sex lives often change. Many people seek advice for better sex at this stage of life, even if they have always been perfectly happy in the past. By no means does sex or sexuality have to stop at any certain age. In one study of women over age 40, sexual satisfaction was associated with having a lower body mass index, being happy in general, and (interestingly) being African-American.(6)

For those of you who are over the age of 50 (or any other age), advice for better sex is available from a Relationship Specialist who can help you to evaluate the issues you are experiencing that are impacting your sex life.

Endnotes

(1)Auslander, B.A.; Rosenthal, S.L.; Fortenberry, J.D.; Biro, F.M.; Bernstein, D.I.; and Zimet, G.D. Predictors of Sexual Satisfaction in an Adolescent and College Population. Journal of Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology 20(1): 25-8, February, 2007.

(2)Byers, E. Sandra. Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction: A Longitudinal Study of Individuals in Long-Term Relationships. The Journal of Sex Research 42(2): 113-8, May, 2005.

(3)Birnbaum, Gurit E. Attachment Orientations, Sexual Functioning, and Relationship Satisfaction in a Community Sample of Women. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 24(1): 21-35, 2007.

(4)Sabatini, R., Cagiano, R. Comparison Profiles of Cycle Control, Side Effects, and Sexual Satisfaction of Three Hormonal Contraceptives. Contraception 74(3): 220-3, September, 2006.

(5)Rowland, D.; Perelman, M.; Althof, S.; Barada, J.; McCullough, A.; Bull, S.; Jamieson, C.; Ho, K.F. Self-reported Premature Ejaculation and Aspects of Sexual Functioning and Satisfaction. Journal of Sexual Medicine 1(2): 225-32, September, 2004.

(6)Addis, Ilana B.; Van Den Eoden, Stephen K.; Wassel-Fyr, Christina L.; Vittinghoff, Eric; Brown, Jeanette S.; and Thom, David H. Sexual Activity and Function in Middle-Aged and Older Women. Obstetrics and Gynecology 107(4): 755-64, April. 2006.

As a Relationship Specialist, Steven Cohn, PhD, works with marriages and couples from all over Oregon including these cities, towns, and suburbs: Portland, West Linn, Dunthorpe, Pearl District, Bethany, West Hills, Irvington, Lake Oswego, Alameda, Bend, East Moreland, Salem, Ashland, and Medford.

And these Oregon zip codes: 97034, 97219, 97212, 94501, 94502, 97229, 97840, 97451, 97106, 97068, 97221, 97140, 97035, 97036

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Steven M Cohn, PhD is pleased to have been featured on Koin 6 Television: "Boost In The Bedroom."

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Steven M Cohn, PhD is pleased to have been featured on Oregon Live "Why Oregon's Latest Divorce Statistics May Be Divorced From Reality"

Steven M Cohn, PhD, MBA, LMFT has twice been named one of the top three marriage counselors in Portland, Oregon by the non-profit organization Three Best Rated

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